


Passion burns

by JulesHawke



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Adult Content, F/M, Making Up, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 11:45:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5003530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulesHawke/pseuds/JulesHawke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan had been back on the Normandy for three weeks and Shepard was avoiding him.  He needed to know why and whether or not he needed to leave.  Bioware owns all things ME.  I'm just playing in their sandbox.  Set during ME3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Passion burns

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so James is sulking, Stokes has his chapter and Kaidan was antsy so this happened. What can I say except enjoy.

The glass was cold on his forehead as Kaidan leant against the window, drawn to the stars outside. But it wasn’t what he really wanted to be looking at. Green eyes, scarlet hair and full, dark pink lips lingered like an after image, burned onto his eyes. They haunted him and drove him mad.

Three weeks now he’d been back aboard the Normandy. Three weeks of watching her interact with everyone but him. Laughing at Vega’s jokes as he called her Lola. His hands curled into fists at the thought and fear churned his stomach into a whirlwind. She spoke quietly with Garrus, spent time with Liara, sat in the cockpit with Joker and even discussed humanity with EDI. But she avoided him.

The only time she spoke to him was on mission, he was surprised when she asked him to join her and Garrus. The cold shoulder she’d been giving him vanished for a while and he hoped it might stay gone. It was amazing to be on her six again, she was more formidable than ever and it made him want her even more. But it wasn’t to be. In the close quarters of the ship she stayed as far away as possible.

He knew it was his fault. Horizon, Mars and even the Citadel where he’d held a gun to her face. He’d stuffed up and it ate at him. Woke him with nightmares, made him break into a sweat every time she smiled at someone else. He missed her so much he physically ached for her. She was so close but she may as well have been on the other side of the galaxy.

He closed his eyes and the feel of her hands on his chest haunted him. He’d never forgotten how that felt, how just a glimpse from her would arouse him, how her smile would make him groan silently and how her lips on his would ignite a fire only she could quench. Nothing had changed, no matter how much he believed he’d moved on after … after she was gone. He needed her, she was the air he breathed, the nourishment he craved and losing her sent him spiralling into darkness.

But if she wanted to avoid him, hated him, resented him why had she let him come back aboard? It didn’t make sense. She was a passionate woman, their attraction had been instant, physical before the deeper emotional connection they formed. She wasn’t one to stand idle while something she wanted was available to her. Maybe she just didn’t want him anymore. His groan echoed around the room as his heart cracked and hope seeped out through the glass beneath his skin. He needed to know.

“EDI, where is Shepard?” He straightened up and turned towards the door.

“The commander is in her quarters, should I inform her you wish to speak to her?”

“No.” he stepped into the corridor and headed for the elevator, completely oblivious to the fact he was only wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.

His hands shook as he pushed the button to take him up. One way or another he was going to find out why she was avoiding him, why he was on the ship if she didn’t really want him there. His chest rose and fell as he took a series of deep, calming breaths, the last thing he wanted was to go in angry or frustrated. The door opened way too soon and he hesitated. What if she sent him away, didn’t want to be reminded of how much he’d hurt her, maybe that was why she was avoiding him.

He’d never considered himself a coward but stepping up to her door and knocking for entry was the most frightening thing he’d ever done. When it slid open before him he had to force his bare feet over the threshold, fight the urge to turn and run.

“I’ll be with you in a sec,” she was sitting at her desk, not really taking notice of who was at her door.

His heart flip-flopped in his chest and he almost gasped aloud as his eyes fell on the bare skin of her shoulders, the wildness of her hair, the long legs that absently rolled the chair backwards and forwards. She was more beautiful than he remembered and the ache in his lions almost drove him to his knees. Her sleep shorts and singlet left little to the imagination but he didn’t need to imagine what was underneath, he’s seen it all, touched it all, loved it all. His hands lifted, instinctively reaching towards her, wanting to feel the softness of her skin under his fingers.

“Kaidan,” she turned and broke the spell, her eyes widening in surprise, or was it fear. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you,” she moved past him to the bed and slipped on a robe. He wondered if she would have done that if it were it anyone else. “What can I do for you?”

“Shepard, I need to talk to you.” He moved to the top of the steps, waiting, wanting to know if she would welcome him or refuse him.

“Okay,” she indicated the sofa, “would you like to sit.”

He sat on the sofa nearest the steps, disappointed that she sat on the other sofa, about as far away from him as she could get. Now that he was looking at her, close to her, he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t realise he was staring at her until she shifted.

“Is something wrong?” She met his eyes but her gaze quickly moved away, it was unlike her and it puzzled him.

“I don’t know,” he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Is something wrong, Shepard? Have I done something to upset you … .” He scoffed at his own words and he was sure her mouth lifted slightly before she dropped her head. “That was a stupid question.”

Sitting was driving him nuts. Getting to his feet he stood before the fish tank, keeping his eyes on the calm blue water that held no fish. He was curious but it was a question for another time. He settled into parade rest but he could feel her eyes on him and his skin burned beneath her stare.

“I was wondering why you allowed me to come back onto the Normandy when it’s pretty obvious you don’t want me here.” His heart cracked with the realisation that it was probably the truth, that he didn’t belong anymore.

“I don’t … .” She hesitated and he glanced over his shoulder,

She was gaping at him, fish mouthing silent words and his forehead creased as his eyes narrowed. It wasn’t like her to be stuck for words, she had never been speechless in all the time they’d spent together.

“Of course I want you here,” she finally managed to put words together.

“Then why are you avoiding me?” He turned to face her and she gaped at him again.

The narrowing of her eyes and the sudden straightening of her shoulders warned him that she didn’t believe him.

“EDI, have I been avoiding Major Alenko?”

“In the three weeks since Major Alenko came on board you have successfully managed to not be in the same part of the ship as him, not eat at the same time or have any contact with the Major when he is on duty. On a ship the size of the Normandy that is impressive. Aside from debriefs and the one mission you included him on, considering you are the Commander of the Normandy, that constitutes avoidance, especially as you deliberately turn and move away at the sound of his voice. You also … .”

“Okay, I get it,” she scowled and stared at the floor.

Her hair fell across her face and he so desperately wanted to brush it back, to feel it’s silkiness, breathe in the scent of berries he knew she still used. It had wafted around him whenever she’d just left a room or the few times they’d been in the same space for debriefs. Having EDI roll off just how much she’d been avoiding him only made it clearer that she was uncomfortable around him. He had no-one to blame but himself.

“It’s okay, Ri … Shepard, I’ll contact Hackett and ask if he still wants me. I’ll leave the next time we’re on the Citadel and I’ll stay out of your way until then.” His eyes burned as he turned to leave, keeping his head down so she couldn’t see the pain he was sure would be obvious. “I’m sor …,” his voice broke as he placed his foot on the first step and he swallowed hard. “I’m sorry for ever hurting you and letting you down.”

“So that’s it, you’re just leaving.” She was on her feet moving around the small table towards him.

He stopped and turned, surprise and anger battling for control. “Isn’t that what you want, why you’ve been avoiding me?” He stepped back towards her.

“Well haven’t you moved on with some doctor or something?”

“What?” His brow furrowed and it took him a minute to understand. That damned email. He took a step towards her, “I never moved on, Shepard. I never could.”

“So you said that to hurt me!” Her eyebrows lifted as she stood with her hands on her hips.

She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. The fire in her eyes matching the fire of her hair and he had to stop himself from storming towards her and claiming her lips, making her his again.

“Of course I didn’t!” He shook his head, clenching his fists so he didn’t reach for her. “I was hurting too you know. You died, how was I supposed to deal with that? I mourned you Ria, for two long years and then there you were in front of me. How did you expect me to react.”

“Like you loved me, or don’t you?” Her hands were tight balls at her side as she leant forward, closing the distance between them as her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

He so desperately did. His own eyes burned and in a single stride he was upon her, his hands gripping her face, his lips crashing into hers as he pushed her back against the fish tank. It took him a moment to realise she was kissing him back, her hands holding his head as if she’d never let it go. Her tongue pushed for entry and he opened his mouth to her as his heart sang, as it pounded so hard it threatened to break through his chest.

“How could you doubt that,” he bit and kissed his way down her neck, sliding the robe off her shoulders as she shivered under his touch.

“How could I not?” She slid her hands under his shirt and lifted, pulling it off as he raised his arms, tossing it across the room before running her hands down his chest, raising goose bumps. She jumped, wrapped her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck, “you haven’t convinced me otherwise.”

“I tried,” he yanked her singlet over her head and they overbalanced as their lips came together.

He landed on his back on the bed with an ‘oomph’ as she followed him down, giggling against his mouth as she tightened her legs around his hips.   The edge of the bed dug into his back as their momentum carried them over the edge and onto the floor. He rolled as they landed, pinning her beneath him as their tongues danced a familiar dance, as their hands rediscovered each other.

She tilted her head as he kissed his way down her neck, her soft moans driving him on, making him ache with need. He palmed her exposed breast in one hand, his thumb and finger rolling the nipple, while his mouth hungrily suckled, nipped and kissed the other. Her fingernails dug into his scalp as she held his head against her, urging him on.

“You mean on Mars,” she was breathing heavy and he grinned.

“We both said things,” he hurriedly returned to his worship of her breasts, his fingers and mouth knowing exactly how to elicit breathless moans that made him shiver with desire. ‘Then in the hospital … .’

She pulled his head up, kissing him, devouring him as if he was the last meal she’d ever have.

“Shut up, Alenko.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

His hand slipped beneath her shorts, sliding across the smooth curve of her backside, moving over her hip to the one place he never thought he’d feel again. She was wet for him and he groaned as his fingers slipped into the warmth of her core, feeling her grind herself against his hand. His erection pulsed against the fabric of his pants, longing and need making it painful. Sensing his distress she eased his discomfort by pushing them down with her hands and feet, smiling at his lack of underwear, before closing her fingers around his shaft.

A hiss escaped and he arced off the floor, the intensity of her touch sending fire through every part of him, the softness of her fingers like silk against his hot length. She had always made him burn, but this was unlike anything he’d felt before and as she gently caressed him he knew he wouldn’t last long.

“Ria,” he groaned against her lips as his thumb found the one spot that had her lifting off the floor beneath him.

Shoving her shorts down he kicked off his trousers and positioned himself between her legs, his tip just touching her wet warmth as their lips locked. They groaned in unison as he slid inside, sheathing himself until he had nothing left to give. His hands gripped hers, lifting them above her head and interlocking their fingers as he slowly moved his hips, sliding easily in and out of her as she locked her legs around his and her eyes closed. He was home, this was where he belonged and as much as he ached for release he took his time.

“Look at me, Ria,” his voice was husky and he felt her shiver beneath him as she opened her eyes.

He kept his eyes on hers as he rolled his hips, finding the place that made her gasp and bite her bottom lip. She was stunning, completely opened up to him, any doubt or fear gone and pure longing looking back at him. Her green eyes were dark, her lips flushed from his kisses and he had never felt more alive and proud than he did right then. He had this woman at his mercy and she allowed it, she trusted him, wanted him and as she lifted her hips beneath him, sucking him in, he knew he could never be with any other woman.

She met his gaze, matching the roll of his hips, pulling her fingers from his, lowering her arms and gripping his ass, digging her fingernails in painfully, arousing him even more and he let out a moan. Her breath quickened as he thrust deeper and faster, feeling the tightening around him as she reached the edge.

“Oh fu … .” She tensed beneath him.

He watched as she came, her mouth opening, her head thrown back as her eyes closed. Nothing would ever be as beautiful as that moment and he followed her over. His groans echoed her soft cry and for a single moment they were completely one, lost in the feel of each other.

“Holy shit. I missed that.” She panted but made no attempt to move, instead she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close.

“Yeah,” he struggled to breath, bracing his weight on his elbows as he buried his face in her neck.

They lay like that for a few moments before he lifted his head and looked into her eyes. His hands brushed over her hair, coming to rest on the side of her head as she smiled up at him. Her legs tightened around him as he went to pull away and he grinned, she never did like to separate.

“Going somewhere?”

“You tell me, Ria,” he relaxed against her, still inside her as she smiled up at him.

“Do you want to?” There was doubt in her eyes and for the first time since coming back aboard he understood that she had been afraid of him wanting to leave her.

“Never, unless it’s to a more comfortable spot.”

She glanced around and laughed, the movement making him twitch inside her and she deliberately lifted her hips against him.

“I’m sorry, Kaidan,” she brushed his face and her eyes watered. “I didn’t want to get close, I couldn’t face the pain if you’d moved on and didn’t want me. I was too scared to take the chance and I hurt you more than I realised.”

“I was afraid you didn’t want me either. But I could never move on,” he closed his eyes as the memory of her loss intruded. He smiled as he opened his eyes and drank her in, “I love you Riahna Shepard, I always have and I always will.”

“I love you Kaidan Alenko, even when you are an ass.”

“I thought you loved my ass,” he chuckled as she rolled her eyes.

“I do.”

She ran her hands down his back and made him shiver as she continued on and cupped his ass cheeks before lightly running her fingernails across them. He sucked in a breath as she lifted her head and bit on his nipple, causing him to harden instantly.

“You know what this means though,” she said between kisses as she pulled his head down and worked her way up his neck.

“What?” He was finding it hard to concentrate as she ran her nails down his back and her tongue slid down his neck.

He suddenly found himself flipped as she rolled them over and straddled his hips without breaking contact. She smiled as she placed his hands on her breasts and slowly moved up and down his shaft, eliciting groans he had no hope of stopping.

“It’s your turn to get carpet burns.” She smothered his laugh with a smouldering kiss that was worth all the burns in the world.


End file.
